penelope and bumblebee

Good grammar costs nothing.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Got MILF?

Is being the recipient of a juvenile, sexist, objectifying cat-call any less offensive when you are a 30-ish mother who, 15 months post-natal, still can’t fit into her skinny jeans?

Hell, yeah!

Come and take away my feminist membership card if you wish, but it happened to me today, and I smiled, and was kind of proud of myself and all of my obvious hotness.

Never mind that it came from a carload of teens who were probably just trying out a new phrase that they had heard somewhere (like maybe from their babysitter or something); Someone other than my husband stuck their head out of a moving car window and yelled ‘Yo, MILF!’

(ok, chris has never stuck his head out of the window of a moving vehicle to declare his lust for me. But I bet he would if I asked.)

It’s not like I was cruising Yonge Street on a Friday night, either. I was ‘cruising’ Bayview Avenue with bumblebee, where, usually, the only people checking each other out are the Leaside moms wondering how that bitch got the new bugaboo diaper bag before she did.

So, er, I digress. Or maybe I regress, if I feel like this is worth a post, but come on… it’s very easy to feel like a frumpy, run-down, unstylish mom. It’s not that easy to feel like you are attractive to your own loving husband, let alone some jackass teenagers who are desperate to shag just about anyone with a pulse. And in my past life, I was the first one to give the finger in response to these kinds of comments, or at least shake my head disapprovingly with a little chuckle thrown in for ego’s sake. But these days, I am slightly desperate to ensure (or be reassured) that I didn’t trade in all my former hipness, all my former confidence, all my former sexiness, to be a breeder.

And, man, you should see me. A MILF-ier MILF there never was: I hardly ever look in a mirror, I have been wearing the same civvie outfit all summer (my uniform consists of the only cool jeans that still fit me, tho they have split down the bum and are held together with safety pins cause I can’t find my sewing kit, and a new gap halter [brown] that everyone and her sister wears), and hair that, while, yes, is quite glorious since pregnancy, is a mass of out-of-control waves/curls that neva eva sees a brush -- H.O.T.

All the more reason that being cat-called like a common whore seems ok right now. And the best part is that it is not only me that will benefit from this little slip of decency; chris will probably fare ok –

MILF; It does a body good.

15 Comments:

  • At 4:39 PM, Blogger Lisa b said…

    Ah good for you! Nothing like leering teenaged boys to cheer you up.
    I don't have that Gap halter... do you have that new diaper bag too?

     
  • At 6:33 PM, Blogger lisalou said…

    Ahh baby cakes you know you're a hottie! And those boys...well they know a good thing when they see it!

    On a different note, My hubby thinks you guys should come visit this spring. He says he'll teach you to surf!

     
  • At 8:33 PM, Blogger penelopeto said…

    look at all the lisa love!
    lisab - i think the gap top is on sale for half of what i paid now - it's pretty cute in white if you can bust it. and no, i don't have that diaper bag; i drive a sensible graco and went for the skip hop bag in orange (i understand not skimping on the bag).
    and lisalou, my love, hopefully we will take you up on that offer; haven't been to your neck of the woods in waaaay too long.

     
  • At 1:46 AM, Anonymous blah, blah, blog said…

    MILF,

    I saw you today and shared those young lads' sentiments. You looked great.

    I certainly couldn't pull off that halter after 17 months of nursing...

     
  • At 3:56 PM, Blogger metro mama said…

    Some construction workers gave me the up and down look the other day and it made my day.

     
  • At 5:46 PM, Anonymous mamatulip said…

    LOL! I'd have smiled too. I also smile when I get carded. It doesn't happen often, but when it does? Oh yeah.

     
  • At 11:25 AM, Blogger Nancy said…

    I'm with you 100% on "would have been offended, now am flattered" thing. I'd kill for a sexist comment from a teenage boy or an obese, middle-aged construction worker. I feel frumpy with a capitol F.

    But, I wouldn't trade it for the world. The Alien was worth all the frump!

     
  • At 5:44 PM, Blogger crazymumma said…

    Nothing. Better. It would have totally made my day. But what is MILF?
    Motherhood Is Low Fat?
    Maybe I've Lost Face?ohhhh like that one.

    Good on you, and by the way your self description sounds fairly babealicious.

    Heard good and bad about all school systems, including Waldorf...but its just gotta get better over in my neck of the woods...

     
  • At 4:48 PM, Anonymous Jen Jen said…

    MEE-OW, indecency IS & has always been the way to go in my books. You are the queen bee of foxiness.
    Does this mean your breeder ass is ready for another ego-stroke to buffalo?

     
  • At 5:38 PM, Blogger SpeakEasy said…

    crazymumma: MILF = Mother I'd Like to Fu*k... and by "*" I mean "c".

    Having never met you, Penelope, I tracked down the offending boys and took a vote, and of the 6 boys in the car, 5 of them confirmed you are in fact top of their MILF list, while the other one had you just under Britney Spears, Gwen Stefani, Angela Jolie and Demi Moore. I think they were on his list for the money, and they haven't seen the UrbanMummy either. :)

    Thanks again for the email, I hope things slow down a little and I can reply. Appreciate the offer. Knowledge is a good thing! :)

     
  • At 6:20 PM, Blogger penelopeto said…

    Britney before Gwen? Angie? I won't question my place on the list, but c'mon!
    I knew those kids were cracked.

     
  • At 11:38 PM, Anonymous Naomi said…

    Heh heh...I love getting leared at. Makes me smile. Nothing wrong with a little bit of appreciation of the female form.

    Then again, this female form is decidedly round.

    Speaking of which, I'd like to ask you some stuff about home birth - can you email me when you get a chance?? (urbanmummy at gmail.com)

     
  • At 12:17 PM, Blogger Haley-O said…

    LOL! I know what you mean! I find myself smiling, now, when I get "cat-called." ...and saying to myself "heh, stillll got it!" ;)

     
  • At 5:01 PM, Blogger sunshine scribe said…

    I LOVED this one. And I SO get it.

    I used to get all irrate and feminist and offended by cat calls. Now? They make my effing day.

    MILF ... it REALLY does a body good :)

     
  • At 11:40 AM, Blogger cinnamon gurl said…

    hee hee... when I first started reading, I thought, "I'd like to be called a MILF," then shamefully put that thought away... then brought it out again as I read on.

     

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